Part of living and leading like Jesus is living an authentic life. My husband knows I’m not a “perfect” wife. My children
know I’m not a “perfect” mom and if you were in the restaurant this past
Sunday, you too would have known my life isn’t “perfect.” But you know what, the more I get to know Jesus, the more I’m done
with “perfect.” There is only one who is perfect and
it’s not me.
Yes, if
you were in that certain restaurant this past Sunday, please allow me to
apologize. My youngest was “that child” and yes, I was “that mom” who was
running, yes running out of the restaurant with a screaming child. A child who
was a little too tired after church to sit through a Sunday afternoon lunch
with our whole family. I knew the risk, yet I still
choose to see if we could do it……and failed miserably. Sunday
after church luncheons with one and a half year olds just don’t go that well
these days. I knew better. And so after the 10th time of trying to get her
mac-n-cheese into her little mouth, all by herself own mind you, and failing
yet again……she had finally had it and let the WHOLE restaurant know! I grabbed
her and ran for the nearest exit, catching some of the glaring faces as I sped
past. I tried to smile and mouth, “so sorry” as I hurried to the doors…doors
that seemed MILES away.
Once
outside I tried soothing her, walking with her and distracting her…..but
nothing was working. Finally in desperation I prayed, “Lord please let the car
be unlocked because I have no where else to go.” (Remember, I had ran out of
the restaurant not thinking I should have picked up my purse…..it’s called
survival mode) In God’s goodness, the car was indeed unlocked (I’m normally
very good at locking my car) and she and I were able to have a good cry once we
were safely buckled in…..yes, I don’t know why I put my
seat belt on too, partly out of habit and partly because I needed to be held
together in the seat also.
I sat in the car crying and thinking
of YOU! Yes, you. I thought, “Ohh if they could only see me now.” They would
all KNOW that I’m not perfect and then it hit me. Maybe some of you need to
read these types of stories too. Maybe
you have struggled in your life, in your parenting, with your families trying
to measure up to something that was never intended for you to measure up to. If
I’m speaking to you, please know this…..we all lead sin stained lives. We all
have days where we feel like failures. We are ALL in need of God’s generous
grace. You are not alone.
In Luke 12 we see Jesus giving a
warning to His disciples even though thousands of people had gathered to listen
to Him speak….gathering to the point they were trampling on top of one another,
(vs 1) Jesus first addressed the disciples, and warned them about being on
their guard again hypocrisy. Don’t
be tempted to “pretend.” Don’t pretend to live one way like the
Pharisees do out in public for everyone to see and yet live a different life in
private.
“There is nothing concealed that will not be
disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.”- Luke 12:2
Let’s be the same person in public as we are in private.
Our
families are watching.
Our
friends are watching.
And yes,
even strangers in restaurants as you run for the exits are watching.
I’ll be honest with you, I struggle with the desire to please. I am happy when I can make someone else happy. And though
that doesn’t seem like a bad thing on the surface, it can cause a lot of
pressure, turmoil and stress on the inside.
I don’t
like running out of restaurants with a screaming child.
I don’t
like feeling like a failure.
But then
I read further in Luke 12 to verse 5:
“But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after
killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear
him. Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is
forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t
be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
Jesus
lovingly reminds the crowd….and me, that I am not to fear what others think of
me. He releases me from the pressure to pretend.
I’m not to
fear anyone except God…..the one who created me. The One who LOVES me. The One who knows all my
flaws, short comings and sins….yet hung on the cross for me anyway.
Yes, fear Him because He is the ONLY one who has power over my life. Fear Him,
meaning…..realize He is holy. Fear Him in a good way, an honoring way…not in an
“I’m scared of God because He is mean” kind of way, but because God is good.
God is love. And because He loves you and knows you….even down to the number of
hairs you have on your head.
Be you…flaws, failures and all … run to Jesus like a mama running
out of a restaurant with a crying child….run to him with all your hurts, pain,
disappointments and heartbreak. He loves you.
Do you struggle with feeling like you have to have it “all
together”? What truth has God spoken
into your heart today concerning His love for you and his desire for you not to
pretend?
Love God
Greatly!
